Why was the dinosaur underweight?

Now I have all Kenny Loggins. (I’m Alright, I just like living in the Danger Zone.)

FOREfathers

The balls in his court now.

Impasto syndrome

Men watch The Masters and women watch The Bachelor.

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

The barber asks, "Got any vacation plans"? The customer replies, "The wife and I are going to Italy." "Ahh bullshit," the barber barks. "Italy is overrated, why do you want to go anyway? I went and it's terrible. The food is awful, the Romanesque architecture is old and dirty, the people are rude and aloof, the weather is hot and rainy, and when I tried to see the pope I could barely make out the top of his head through the millions of people in St Peter's Square." The customer is surprised by the barber's visceral reaction, and sheepishly states that he already bought the tickets so he has to go. A couple of months later, and the customer is back in the barber's chair. "Aren't you the guy who went to that crappy country Italy?" "Yeah, we went and had a great time. The food was better than I imagined, the Romanesque architecture was breathtaking and awe-inspiring, the people were polite and friendly, the weather was beautiful and sunny, and when we went to see the Pope I could barely make out the top of his head through the millions of people in St Peter's Sq. Gradually, the sea of people parted as if by magic and I could see the pope walking toward me with his gold scepter. When he got close enough to me to be heard I dropped to one knee and he said, "Who gave you that awful haircut."

They didn't planet that way.

My boss kept gaslighting me.